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25. September 2007 / Bernhard


“Wir geh’n zum Lachen in den Keller und wir trinken Terpentin.” Danke.

It’s a great feeling when you process film, check the negatives and think you developed someone else film. Well, it’s not that bad but yes, thanks to those very precious frames I remember things. Things that better should stay untold. Oh well.

So, this was taken on Sunday, two weeks ago (I think). Next to me stood a guy having problems – very manly problems in fact. Not that he couldn’t jerk off – I coulnd’t care less. No, he just stood there with his manlyness in his hands and keeps saying to himself and the wall in front of him that he can’t piss. That something’s wrong. Very interesting. Well, I didn’t take a picture. Whatever. Oh, the next frames are on Neopan400. Great way to start a blog entry – post a self with a toy camera. Nice!

Aww… Seb looking “slightly” retarded. But yet very handsome. Very.

As far as I remember they were talking about a camera. So they literally begged to get shot.

French lady being French and some not so nice wine on the table.

French conversation. I didn’t understand shit. Course, who speaks French these days? Merde!

Artistic. The wine was getting better at that point. Last picture from there for some not so obvious reasons.

Kid at Kindergarden!

Kids at wedding.

Being amuesed because of my toy camera. “Does this thing actually take pictures?”

This one’s for Sean and Andi. Sean: Welcome to Austrian weddings. Oh, before I forget: She’s from New Zealand.

Something deep for a change.

Again wedding: This time somewhere in Styria. And honestely, Austria can be one hell of a beautiful and peaceful country.

I shot like 3-4 frames at that wedding with the toy camera… it’s much easier with the digital. And people don’t care anyway.

So much for Neopan400 – as you can see there are almost no keeper on that roll. Which is a general phenomena for me. Nice. Oh, I’ll spare you the brilliant tech talk about the Neopan – especially since judging a film from a single roll is plain retarded.

Kodak 400TX again.

She’s my dream lady. Typical Viennese.

Sister. Tired of my lame jokes. Heh.

Serious business. Nice dust, huh?


You make up your story here. A man holding a pole with both hands and closing his eyes. Well, memories from better days…

I was just fooling around with the camera when the guy turned around giving me this precious face. I didn’t have the time to set the correct exposure resulting in this not so nice overexposure. Still: “OIDA WOT DE FAK?”


At the bar bar watching football.

Alex and me slightly bored. Just slightly.

But not as bored as him I suppose.

“Dude, I’m two years old and even I can say that your jokes are lame. Grow up, man.”

Oh, great. At the library. Great.

So, yes, as you can see there is absolutely NOTHING going on here in Vienna. NADA. So please, you guys that travel to fucking I-don’t-know-where post decent stuff. Not some lame ass kid shot. Same poorly composed street shit. Not some in the back shots. Please. Also guys from New York or any of those vibrant cities, spare the bullshit, show decent stuff. Whatever. SO THIS IS A BLACK LADY ON THE FUCKING TRAM LOOKING OUT OF THE WINDOW. NICE.

So this is a glass of beer. In a bar. I guess I took a dozen of those kind of shots – and guess what? Those are the most interesting… NO SHOTS FROM MEXICO. NO STUFF FROM CUBA. Hey, I could make a series. Or paint them red. Or both.

… und dann tranken wir Terpentin. Oder Vodka. Ist ja nicht so wichtig.

Oh, wait? Yet again a bar shot? OH REALLY? IS IT THAT TIME AGAIN? I think so.

Toy camera face – yet again!

–> Vodka.

–> ;wackel

Excuse the poor image quality but this is just about the moment, the story, the emotion in his pants. This was in a “quite” dark corner of the bar thus f/2, 1/8, iso400. But I guess the message comes through… Oh, if I was forced to give this crappy picture a title or something it’d be “GREAT SUCCESS” or “mission accomplished”. Or “Guhd gahk”

A friend of mine was celebrating her birthday… a theme park party. Theme: Porn. Fantastic. Apparently, some girls handle that topic very well. And of course, there is always that girl that has to trump the others. It’s nature. 2 mediocre and a hottie. I guess it’s even maths. And seriously, I don’t care because in the end, it’s about a nice Porsche and that house on the beach. Parties and all that fucking irrelevant shit. Oh, I’m 21 and sound like a bitter fuck. Nice.

Hottie seeking for the guy with the Porsche key.

Next day on the tram. Not enough sleep. Fuck, again public transport shit. But yeah, her face, her FANTASTIC JOYFULL facial expression pretty much resembles mine at that moment.

I screm for ice cream. Oh yes, she does. She absolutely loves it.

She went for a walk with the parents… while I was sleeping. Told me about the stuff she saw. Oh well.

Some cute thing taking a pretty long nap. The ants were just trying to wake it up.

In the pub again. Some fucking idiot was hammering against the locked door screaming “I gonna kill that fucking bastard”. Back to business as usual. Cute people. Very serious stuff. Don’t say shit about my mother and girl. Very civilised. Oh, by the way Ahmadinejad is a terrorist. And we don’t talk to terrorist. And everyone that doesn’t think the same is a terrorist. Flawless logic.

Oh well, headache. I have to make some lovely calls tomorrow… ask people politely to send money they still owe me. I love that. I do. Let’s try to fuck around with the photographer… because in the end, it’s all about having some fine food. FOOD.

Great stuff.

Take it easy,



Leave a Comment
  1. Suzan / Sep 25 2007 23:44

    Ha, I like the range of expressions you’ve shot of your sisters, taking all the other entries in account also. They’re not just about the cute-kid-cute-smile thing anymore. But the variate nicely. Guess it’s because they’re used to the camera. I like the sleeping one a lot.
    And the other sleeping photo with the ants is lovely too. Ants, maggots, silverfish – I see a definite lead through our conversations.
    The Neopan400 and the Tri-x look different; I can’t put my finger on it why though. Guess the Tri-x looks a bit more metallic or something. Neopan400 is not so nice in low light situations I think. In bright light it looks better, like the first two frames of this entry. And even though Sebas is giving you the usual face, I think it’s a pretty fantastic portrait.

  2. marius / Sep 26 2007 11:52

    your worst pictures are better than my best. great to see you posting quite often…


  3. Harrison / Sep 26 2007 18:43

    Timeless frame.

    And yay for regular updates!

  4. Xupa Cabras / Sep 26 2007 22:51

    hello, welcome to planeta terra, have a nice stay.

    hello very good thank you.

  5. kinderbanned / Oct 5 2007 13:23

    danke für die bestätigung. dein leben ist ja mindestens so abwechslungsreich und aufregend wie das meinige ! ;)

    hab mich aber prächtig amüsiert wiedermal.

  6. Rebecca / Oct 6 2007 20:31

    I still want to adopt her. That “jerk” picture :) Yes I am one of those ‘cute babysister” people.

  7. ingrid / Oct 8 2007 16:23

    i like the first selfportrait haha, and the cute sister photos ofcourse, they can never go wrong. it’s really nice to see your blogentries ab und zu :)

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